The Sweetest Things I'll Ever Know

As I am concluding my journey as a Masters of Divinity student here at Wesley, I have entered into a reflective space. I think about my call story, my “Windows On Wesley” experience, orientation, the baptism service, and more. It’s all coming back to me, largely due to the fact that I am overwhelmed with figuring out the next steps of my life. I feel so many unpleasant emotions like doubt, fear, confusion, and anxiety. To be honest, when I am lost in my thoughts, I question why I’ve done all of this in the first place.

Photo by Nicole Poland, a winner of the Student Council's Spring Photo Contest.

As my thoughts consumed me one evening, I diverted to my self-care and spiritual practice, journaling, which has been essential to my mental health throughout this journey. As I poured out my soul, lamentations, and anxieties on the pages of my journal I heard the sweet, sincere voice that never ceases to stop by to visit me for a little while, the voice of God. In the midst of the moment, I heard God say, “Remember what I told you."

I began to reflect on what God told me. I remembered that God has told me so many things. Actually, all of the most important things, or better yet, the sweetest things I have ever come to know so far on this life’s journey have come from God. I am well aware of the multifaceted aspects of this seminary journey. While I know my experience is unique, I also know that on a human level there are many paths that we all will cross at some point. In effort to be a voice in solidarity, a means of encouragement, and a wounded healer, as we all are, I offer you some of the sweetest things I’ll ever know. My prayer is that you find peace in what I share.

  1. You are absolutely enough. The simple fact that you exist is a divine statement. THE SPACE YOU TAKE UP IN THIS WORLD MATTERS! You have the divine and human right to create, defend, nurture, advocate for, honor, and love this space. God calls us to tend after creation and you, my friend, are a part of that creation.
  2. Hope is not something you have when circumstances align in your favor, nor is it a feeling. Hope is a decision and a constant choice. No matter the circumstance, in spite of how you feel, hope is an option that is always available to you. You are not the first person to feel hopelessness and, unfortunately, you will not be the last. But, if you choose hope, know that you will not be the first person to do it and you will not be the last.
  3. Pay attention to the grace along this journey. It is a subtle reminder that you are right where you need to be. The grace may come in the form of wisdom shared by a professor or a colleague. It may come in the form of someone asking “how goes it with your soul?” Grace may show in a deep, long inhale and exhale, the reminder that you are here and you matter.
  4. Finally, TRUST GOD. In this life, things don’t always goes as planned but they can still go well.
There’s a possibility that I could write until my fingers fall off. Reflecting the sweet doses of wisdom reminds me of why I answered the call in the first place. I gave God my YES and in turn, God gave me so much MORE. From one part of creation to another, I pray that God provides you with peace that surpasses understanding.

Wasaba Sidibay is a member of the Communications Committee and a graduating seminarian at Wesley.
To read other articles in this issue, click here.
To read the full Journal, click here.

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